2020 FOCUS

2020 FOCUS

2020 FOCUS
Since the mid 90’s I have been wearing glasses. I can’t remember a time I saw perfect 20/20. I have always wore glasses or contacts, the night lights have always looked like the explosion emoji. 💥 I have never hunted much however I’m very good at judging my blurs to know if it’s a turkey, deer, hawk, eagle, squirrel, groundhog etc. However I will not hunt simply bc I’m not shooting at something that I can’t see clearly.
Basically life.
Isn’t it easy to throw our hands up and say, “I can’t.” Instead if admitting in reality, there’s no drive to try. Looking back over my last 30yrs I see where I had a direction but no drive, I had a thought but a blurred outlook. I literally have everything I’ve ever prayed for and worked my butt off for, and yet I wasn’t allowing myself to enjoy any of it. I was fearful of loosing everything, and waiting for the next punch of disappointments.
Out of randomness I ended up taking a drive to Jackson TN, late one evening with a couple of friends. They are younger than me, and definitely grew up in the post 9/11 era. If you are 30 or older you know what I’m talking about. Anyways, it was a great evening of laughs and jokes. And on our way home, we began talking about business, goals, drives and I basically broke down in tears. There was a moment that one said, “You just don’t seem happy with anything right now.” And the honest truth was I was so beyond happy, but I had learn how to hide my excitement. I began to say I feel like I have to turn into a total tyrant to get anyone to work, at home and at the business. If I walk in with a happy go lucky attitude, no one works. And the stress gets thrown on me. Although, it was meant to be a happy sing along end of the car ride, it actually ended with me saying I was tired and thanks for the inspiration. But I didn’t feel inspired. I felt defeated. I left that night with a heartbreak feeling. Not for someone else’s issue with me.. but my own.
Why am I so happy but I’m terrified to mention it? Well the truth is, 90% of the time if I expressed my happiness with someone or just around someone, they would throw their negative comments in. “Well just wait until.....
You just don’t know...... you’ve never worked hard enough to know......”
So over time I just began shutting down that part of my life. The overly happy extremely giggly Whitney.
Ok NOW LETS GET TO THE FOCUS! That was the blur part.
Later on that week, I picked up my phone and text my friend, whom I had avoided since Jackson, and text something like, anxiety. Anxiety is why I don’t seem happy. I can’t focus from the anxiety. I can’t be the happy me bc no one will work and takes advantage of my laid back personality. But I don’t like being that person.
His response back was so simple, and it ticked me off. (Insert laughter) he responded with”then change it.” 🤬
You know when you are at the eye doctor and you have choices of “A” or “B”, “C” or “D”
Multiple choices to improve your vision. Basically I was stuck on “A” and getting ticked off because life wasn’t coming into focus. And refusing to even give B, C, and D a chance.
My friend advised me to listen to a life coach that had helped him with his business.
So I did. The man could not have been more direct if had titled it ,”Whitney Emmons, this is for you!!” Suddenly everything was simple. Yes or no, left or right, up or down, just make a choice and if it didn’t work try again. Well duh!!
I decided I don’t want to be on defense anymore but if I have to play on that side I’d rather be defensive tackle of life than standing on the sidelines crying bc it didn’t go my way.
So for 2020 I want to make this a year of choices (not like George Jones’ song) when something doesn’t work, realign and tackle the task. Simplicity is literally all I need. What makes me a better person? My health. If I workout I feel accomplished, for myself. I’m so not the cute one in the gym. I look like I have been hit by a truck in the pouring rain when I leave there but dang it feels good to sweat out some stress.
A quote that literally changed my views of everything was, “ the lack of illness or disease doesn’t not equal health.” - Tony Robbins 🤯
Have I ever been healthy then? Idk but I’m working on it. With each rep I’m pushing myself with my workout partners. They cheer me own as I struggle to get that 10 count in. Then I come home, get the kids ready for school and I talk to them on the way to school instead of stressing about the panic of being late. Enjoy the moments.
The stress is still there. The anxiety is still there. The negative comments and discouraging comments are still there. But I realign them to work for me instead of me working for them.
If you getting nothing else for my unfolding of focus, take this one thing and it will all be worth it. You are worth it. You deserve focus and clarity, simplicity and happiness. Now make it happen. You can! Find what’s important and let go of the urgency. Two similar but very different things. Find your focus.
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